digital encounters of the MI kind
by funkyhats
Summary: the result of lots of sickness medicine, painkillers and late late nights, the MI characters are in a chat room what will they talk about, and whats with this mysterious book about simon, the awkward turtle stuff and alec's sexy times? complete crack!


Digital encounters of the MI kind

**Randomness insured**

**AN: the result of lots of medication, working late and the song technologic**

**May contain spoilers cog and cofa, sexual innuendo, various not entirely good words, and complete and utter nonsense.**

**All the characters will be random and over the top.**

**Enjoy :]**

**Isabelle **_Whips&chains_

**Magnus **_Gay4glitter_

**Alec **_A_Lightwood_

**Clary **_Artisthrt_

**Jace **_Stud_alert_

**Simon **_Saltmaker_

**Maia **_I_survived_toxic_sludge_

_Gay4glitter has just signed in_

_Stud_alert has just signed in_

_Saltmaker has just signed in_

**Gay4glitter:** stud…. That's debatable…

**Stud_alert:** ha more like inconceivable, like its inconceivable how much of a stud I am!

**Saltmaker:** im impressed… have you been reading a dictionary lately? O.O

**Stud_alert:** you doubt my intelligence… I am offended and shocked.

**Gay4glitter:** oh god hes going to be going on and on and on about this isn't he?

_artisthrt has signed in_

**Saltmaker: **it would seem so…

**Stud_alert: **I mean I thought after you know saving the world you would show some respect… seeing how I defiantly deserve it…

**artist****hrt: **hey guys whats happening?

**Gay4glitter:** just consult your boyfriend…

**Stud_alert:** hey babe! I miss you x

**artist****hrt: **I miss you too XX. P.s what are you talking about? Hey Magnus, Simon :P

**Saltmaker: **apparently Jaces inconceivable studdness… which is still debatable…

**Stud_alert:** DAYLIGHTER IS BEING MEN!

**artist****hrt:** men?

**Saltmaker:** men….

**Gay4glitter:** men 3 ;)

**Stud_alert: **I meant mean, mean! Dam you stupid peace of crap! *stabs keyboard in frustration*

**Gay4glitter:** don't hurt the contraption, it's the fingers using it to blame!

**artist****hrt:** aww baby would it make you feel any better if I said you were the studdiest stud of a boyfriend I know :)

**Saltmaker****:** *cough* eww! *cough*

**Gay4glitter:** now I know your lying, Alec's defiantly studdier

**Stud_alert:** please have you seen my guns *flexs well tanned, marked muscles*

**artist****hrt: **Alec's hot…

**Stud_alert****:** HEY! Clary you're MY girl!

**Saltmaker:** hey Clary am I hot? ;)

**artist****hrt:** but jaces hotter 3

**gay4glitter:** nup Alec's defiantly hotter.

**artist****hrt:** no way, Jace is a better snog

**gay4glitter:** Alec's a better kisser

**artist****hrt:** Jace is more romantic

**Saltmaker:** romantic *rolls eyes* please…

**Stud_alert:** it's true; I am just generally the best

**gay4glitter:** Alec's more considerate

**artist****hrt:** Jace is a family man

**Saltmaker:** it's funny that you say that…

**artist****hrt:** SHUT UP Simon not what I meant

**Stud_alert:** …

**gay4glitter:** touchy subject mundie… btw Alec's smarter

**Saltmaker:** I have generally nothing to add to this convocation… im bored

**Stud_alert:** im not, I think it's interesting

**artist****hrt:** Jaces loyal…er

**gay4glitter:** Alec's better at being not only an amazing boyfriend but at making breakfast…. Unlike his sister

**artist****hrt:** jaces has more stamina, hes got more angle blood

**gay4glitter:** Alec's better at… 3

**Stud_alert:** ?

**artist****hrt:** ?

**Saltmaker:** ?

**gay4glitter:** ;) ;)

**artist****hrt:** REALLY?

**Stud_alert:** am I missing something?

**Saltmaker:** is that girl talk?

**Gay4glitter:** yep ;)

**artist****hrt:** Jace, he said ;) ;)

**Stud_alert:** yer so, what does that mean?

**Saltmaker:** I knew it was girl talk

**artist****hrt:** wink face times by two = SEXY TIMES!

**Gay4glitter:** I WIN MY BOYFRIENDS BETTER!

**Stud_alert:** TMI OWW MY EARS ARE BLEEDING! DUDE I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MY PARABATI LIKE THAT!

**Gay4glitter:** blame your girlfriend she started it, I just finished it :P

**Saltmaker:** how are your ears hurting don't you mean your eyes…

**Stud_alert:**…

_Whips&chains__ has just signed in_

**Stud_alert:** OWW MY EYES MY EYES THEY ARE BLEEDING!

**Whips&chains****:** Jace… why are your eyes bleeding?

**a****rtisthrt:** read the above posts iz

**gay4glitter:** hello my darling Isabelle, how pleasant of you to join us

**whips&chains****:** I SWEAR TO THE ANGLE IF YOU EVER HURT HIM I WILL PERSIONALLY TAKE YOUR MOST FAVOURTIE BODY PART AND CHOP IT INTO LITTLE TINY PIECES AND FEED IT TO MY PURPLE SPOTTED GOLDFISH! But as your friend I have to say UP TOP *holds up hand in high-five pose*

**gay4glitter:** *high-five's Izzy and acknowledges her warning*

**Stud_alert:** looks like everyone's got a popped cherry now

**Saltmaker:** *covers ears and starts singing star wars theme* dun dun.. dun dun dun dun.. dun.. dun dun dun dun.. dun.. dun dun dun..

**Whips&chains:** clary I am shocked and appalled…. That you didn't tell me! UP TOP!

**a****rtisthrt:** *high fives* Izzy you have a gold fishy?

**gay4glitter:** Jace im sorry but I was having sexy times before you were a little tadpole… im rather attached to my favourite body part (hair)

**a****rtisthrt:** that's a long time.

**Whips&chains****:** you little man whore! And yer clary I named him bubbles! And I love him!

**Saltmaker:** that is a horrible name for a fish; you should have called it Bruce

**Stud_alert:** Magnus YOU'RE A SLUT! You're all just jealous of my angelic looks and luscious lock of golden hair

**Artisthrt:** *swoons* he really does have excellent hair…

**Gay4glitter:** I prefer to think of it as experienced ;) very original name Izzy by the way :P

**Artisthrt:** fish are friends not food!

**Gay4glitter:** oh just what we needed Pixar quotes…

**Saltmaker:** the force is strong in this one…

**Whips&chains:**whats a Pixar?

_A___Lightwood has just signed in_

**A_Lightwood****:** hey everyone

**Stud_alert:***points at Alec wildly*

**Whips&chains****:** I thought it was a great name, hes cute when I feed him he does these little back flips… hey alec :P

**Saltmaker:** Izzy is he in a tank?

**Whips&chains:** im not speaking to you Simon, me and Maia made a pact, one i intend to keep… but yes he lives in a tank in my room with a little treasure chest

**a****rtisthrt:** HeLLO AlEc ;)

**gay4glitter:** hello the most gorgeous smartest bestest ;) ;) ive ever had boyfriend! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox 3 3 3

**A_Lightwood:** hey Magnus :)

**Stud_alert:** *still points at Alec mouth open*

**A_Lightwood****:** whats up with Jace… did I miss something?

**Whips&chains****:** hon, read back over the previous posts.

**A_Lightwood****:** okay…

**Stud_alert:** *STILL POINTING* *whispers* none virgin…

**Gay4glitter:** (to Izzy) I usually get a better greeting then that, hes just shy, bless his soul.

**A****_Lightwood:** MAGNUS BANE HOW DARE YOU DISCUSS MY PRIVATE LIFE OVER THE INTERNET! I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT IM SO MORTIFIED! IM GOING TO KILL YOU AND THEN RESSARECT YOU AND KILL YOU AGAIN AND REPEAT THIS TILL ALL YOUR MANICURED NAILS ARE CHIPPED AND YOUR HAIR IS SPLIT ENDS! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! WHEN I SEE YOU NEXT IF I DECIDE TO EVER SEE YOU OR SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN! AND YOU WILL DEFFINALTY NOT BE GETTING ANY ;) FOR ME EVER AGAIN!

**Saltmaker:**I cant help the feeling that I don't have much to contribute to this

**Stud_alert:** that's because you don't

**Saltmaker:** shut it mango eater

**Stud_alert:** make me blood drinker

**Saltmaker:** read the name blondy I will turn you into a tasty chip component

**Stud_alert:** face it mundie your just this spare guy that is always just around. Your such a spare, the only reason you got your own book is because Cassie felt sorry for your patheticness…

**Saltmaker:** *sarcasm* ouch that hurts…

**Saltmaker:** wait what book?

**Gay4glitter:** book? Who would want to make a book about the spare? KILL THE SPARE!

**A_Lightwood:** THE RAT HAS A BOOK?

**Artisthrt: **who's Cassie Jace?

**Whips&chains:** hes delusional… maybe he has demon pox…

**Gay4glitter:** demon pox is a very serious disease….. I hope he has it! you know, so hes delusional and not because I would love to see him in pain…

**S****tud_alert:** umm well….I have to go… plant some corn….. KBYECLARYILOVEYOU!

_S__tud_alert has logged out_

**Whips&chains: **…*awkward turtle* ALEC HAD SEX!

**A_Lightwood: **I HATE YOU ALL

**Gay4glitter:** would it help if I said I loved you?

**A_Lightwood****:** NO

**Saltmaker:** now that Jace has gracefully left, I feel as if it is my job to take his place OH IM JACE LOOKK AT ME I AM ALL TONED AND MUSCLED WITH NO FLAWS WHAT SO EVER, EXCEPT FOR MY DARK BROODING BIPOLAR SWINGS THAT AND I TOTS WANTED TO TAP MY SISTER, IM A BIG BOY WHO HAS DADDY ISSUEES AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED!

**Whips&chains:** harsh, Simon, harsh

**Saltmaker:** *pouts* turns into Jace *stares accusingly at Alec and pointing much like Jace*

**Gay4glitter:** not even if I said I love you with cherries on top?

**Whips&chains and artisthrt:** AWWW!

**A_Lightwood****: **NO!

**A_Lightwood:** WELL MAYBE A LITTLE! BUT STILL THAT DOSNT MAKE UP FOR IT AND IM STILL MAD AT YOU! AND I LOVE YOU TOO BUT NOT THAT MUCH AT THE MOMENT!

**Saltmaker****:** *finally stops pointing at Alec because seeing him virtual yell at the obnoxious Magnus is just too funny* hey alec, welcome to the club, we have jackets

**A_Lightwood****:** I DON'T WANT A JACKET!

**artisthrt:** wait Simon when have you had sexy times?

**Gay4glitter:** oh hon choose the jacket, you'd look sexy in a leather jacket *swoons*

**Whips&chains****: **I didn't get a jacket… :(

**Saltmaker****:** sorry Izzy there only for the guys

**artisthrt: **you didn't answer me Simon Lewis!

**Whips&chains****:** im not talking to you Simon.

_I_survived_toxic_sludge has just logged in_

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****:** is it weird that you are all so okay with talking about sexy times?

**A_Lightwood****:** CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT?

**Gay4glitter:** nice name Maia, I would think indeed you escaped it relatively unscathed, apart from the lycanthropy which as we all know is the result of new jersey and not some werewolf named Jordan biting you on his first night of turning, then being dragged away by some secret organisation that we didn't even know about till the forth book, which is pretty sucky, considering that its just been dumped on us that he actually really wanted to call you but couldn't because he is some sort of social worker for were wolves and he 'checked out Simons file and just happened to see your name' which is pretty darn creepy if you ask me.

**I_survived_toxic_sludge:** I know that you're typing, but all I keep thinking is shiny! :D

**artisthrt:** Magnus what book? Is this cassie person in on it too :(

**Saltmaker:** I have a file? Is this the book about me?

**A_Lightwood:** forth book? Whats the other three?

**Gay4glitter:** *awkward turtle*

**Whips&chains****:** BECAUSE MAGNUS IS A SLUT!

**A_Lightwood****:**…

**Saltmaker****:** actually Maia is right, this is too …normal… talking about sexy times… that's not right….

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****:** don't agree with me! get off my side cheater!

**Whips&chains:** yer get off her side… cheater!

**Saltmaker:** I just can't get a break…

_Saltmaker has logged out_

**artisthrt:** I think you hurt his peelings

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****: **he has a good name though, morbid and sad but humorous.

**Whips&chains****:** good im glad….. ALEC'S A SLUT!

**A_Lightwood****:** OH SHUT UP IZZY!

**Gay4glitter:** a sexy slut ;)

**a****rtisthrt:** I gotta go but guys, good luck with the sex talking! Mum and Luke are making wedding plans and I have to talk Luke out of getting a flannelette tuxedo.

_aussiehrt has signed out_

**G****ay4glitter: **hahahahahaha fashion crisis

**A****_Lightwood: **?

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****: **a flannel tux… even I know that's wrong!

**A_Lightwood****: **OH! NOW I KNOW.

**Whips&chains****: **ALEC YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEAK IN CAPS LOCK WHEN YOUR NOT YELLING!

**A_Lightwood****: **sorry the button was stuck down, its okay I got it back up so alls good.

**Gay4glitter: **LOL 3

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****: **someone at the door BRB!

_I_survived_toxic_sludge__ has signed out_

**Gay4glitter: **I like that chick…

**Whips&chains****: **well I gotta, got a hot date with a water sprite in a few hours. You two have fun ;) and Alec?

**A_Lightwood****: **yer?

**Whips&Chains****: **be safe! LOL biya XX

_Whips&chains__: has signed out_

**Gay4glitter: **there were two in the bed and the little one said…

**A_Lightwood****: **im the little one?

**Gay4glitter: **yes darl you're the little one, no innuendo intended actually your quite the opposite :D

**A_Lightwood****: **…. Thanks I guess…. well what you want to do now?

**Gay4glitter: **;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **no

**Gya4glitter: **;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **nup

**Gay4glitter: **;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **N.O

**Gya4glitter: **;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **nope

**Gay4glitter:** ;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **know

**Gya4glitter: **;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **no

**Gay4glitter:***makes puppy dog eyes* ;) ;)

**A_Lightwood****: **still no

**Gay4glitter: ***sigh* I didn't want to have to do this…

**A_Lightwood****: **do what?

**Gay4glitter: ***begins to unbutton buttons on shirt*

**Gay4glitter: ***begins sliding hand seductively down bare chest*

**A_Lightwood****: **what are you trying to do?

**Gay4glitter: ***hand reaches waist of the TIGHT black LEATHER pants* flys are such tedious things arnt they, maybe you could come over here and help me with it? :]

**A_Lightwood****: …..**FINE, im coming over, but your not forgiven and no ;) ;) not until you apologise properly

_A_Lightwood__ has signed out_

**Gay4glitter: **ALWAYS WORKS!

_Gay4glitter has signed out_

_I_survived_toxic_sludge has just signed in_

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****: **VALENTINE WAS JUST AT MY FRONT DOOR APPARENTLY HE PULLED A INDIANNA JONES AND HID IN A FRIDGE, NO IDEA HOW THAT WOULD SAVE HIM ANYWAY HE SAYS HES GOING TO RETAKE OVER THE WORLD! AND THAT WE HAVE TWO HOURS TO HAND OVER THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS AND CLARY OR HE WILL DESTROY DIGITAL TV!

**I_survived_toxic_sludge****: **… no one cares?

**I_survived_toxic_sludge: **…. Well DON'T BLAME ME WHEN YOU CAN'T WATCH ALL YOUR FAVOURITE SHOWS ANYTIME ANYWHERE ALL IN THE CONVIENCE AND HIGH QUAILITY THAT IS DIGITAL TV…

**I_survived_toxic_sludge:**ducking glass moles…

_I_survived_toxic_sludge has logged out_


End file.
